Broken
by Andorian Ice Princess-AIP
Summary: When Slattery found Chandler in the plane…on the floor after the final fateful shot had rung out he knew one thing about his friend and commander – Tom Chandler was broken. Small #chandlery broment based off 3.13 'Don't Look Back'


**Title: Broken**

 **Summary:** When Slattery found Chandler in the plane…on the floor after the final fateful shot had rung out he knew one thing about his friend and commander – Tom Chandler was broken. Small #chandlery broment based off 3.13 'Don't Look Back'

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing from The Last Ship (sadly) only my hard working muse and the dream to work under Captain Chandler (pun intended) hehe

 **A/N:** OMG! What an ending! I am still in shock…and while I have LOVED this amazing season – best one yet! I am sad over Tex's death and this better not have been the last #chandlery broment we were blessed with! So many feels and hope I did some small amount of justice to this tormented moment. Please enjoy.

 **NOTE:** As 'always' _"words in italics and double quotes taken directly from the eppy." Just italics are thoughts and single is a past convo._

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The plan was in place and it was solid. Of course they weren't going to just surrender Tom Chandler to Allison Shaw's evil clutches and let her take him someplace isolated and murder him for no other reason than he was in her way. Of course he would willingly sacrifice himself for his children….for his family; it was something Slattery understood well because it's something he himself would gladly do.

But they had to be smart. Chandler's life was worth far too much to just give it up to Shaw without some kind of fight. If she was going to fight dirty, then he was too. It was planned. It wasn't foolproof but it was one they all believed would work. Had to believe would work.

However, that wasn't to be and what had started out like the perfect rescue operation suddenly went horribly wrong – at least on the inside.

Slattery waited outside as long as he could and then after the slow movements inside had stopped and the final shot rang out, the troops on the ground around him being taken care of it was time for him to go and see how his friend had fared.

But when Slattery entered the small hallway on the right of the cockpit and then looked inside at the quiet carnage, the world stopped for him also – it was the last scene, the very last thing he had expected…wanted…hoped to see.

His eyes darted to the left and rested for a few seconds on Tex's unmoving frame. He cursed inside at their loss. His eyes next rested on Allison Shaw's fallen frame. His inward thought was that of relief. And then it rested on his friend, on Tom Chandler's fixed jaw; gun still in hand.

Slattery sunk to his knees and rested his chin on the end of his weapon but said nothing. The haunting sadness…the utter defeat in Chandler's morose gaze said it all – he was broken. He might have won this round, but he had lost…they had all lost.

"Tom," Slattery uttered softly as Chandler remained in place, motionless. "Hey…" he whispered once more as Chandler slightly twitched, still not looking up. "Come on…"

"This…is on me," Chandler offered in a tone so ripe with torment that it forced Slattery to pause in his actions and rest back on his heels.

"This…was on her and her twisted ideals. None of this was your fault."

"Dad…he…" Chandler paused as his voice rang thick with heavy emotion as he lifted his tormented sapphire gaze and rested it on Tex's quiet form. "Mike."

"He's gone."

"I know," Chandler softly acknowledged.

"Tex knew the risks. We all did. Shaw was playing for keeps. She wasn't about to negotiate with…"

"SHE DID WITH ME!" Chandler growled as Slattery's lips pursed. "She gave me back…my children. But…at what cost. How the hell…did she find them! Tex…he didn't need…to die. No more…deaths."

"Come on…need to get you up off…" Slattery started as he noticed Chandler's right hand…the one with the gun still fixed in it starting to move upward. "Don't. Your children need you. You're all they have now."

His actions stopped and he looked up with mist forming over his sapphire pools. "I failed them Mike."

"No, you…"

"I told them…they'd be safe. That I had a plan…to make things better. It was arrogant and…wrong," Chandler angrily hissed. "Mike it was wrong!"

"You're not to blame for any of this!"

"I AM!"

Slattery paused in place for a few moments and hung his head as Chandler's haunted gaze looked back down at Shaw. "She…she was right."

"Tom…"

"She was! She…she was right."

"About what?"

"She…was right," Chandler muttered as he squeezed his eyes shut. "She…was right."

"Come on," Slattery told him once more as he tried to get Chandler to at least a hunched position so he could walk him out. "We need to leave this place," Slattery added as he bodily got Chandler up to a standing position. "Those men out there," Slattery reminded him of the ones he just told to surrender, to show respect for their CNO as per the oath they took when they joined the ranks.

"Duty," Chandler offered sourly as Slattery's jaw tightened. "Right."

He tried to imagine the pain his friend was feeling over this horrible mess. His father…Tex, a friend…even Shaw's death…so much death and haunting images after they had wanted to instill peace. Was that even possible now? When he learned of his son's death, he tried to tell himself that Lucas didn't suffer; that he went peacefully. But Jed. He knows the eldest Chandler male would have fought to the death before he'd give up his precious grandchildren, especially after he learned they would be used as leverage against his own son.

And these three…were only the latest in a long line of unnecessary and unforgivable deaths. When would it end?

As soon as they neared the entrance to the small plane, Slattery felt Chandler's arm tighten in his grasp and his lips utter something in an undertone. They breach the daylight and all men and women outside instantly stand at attention and salute.

"Duty," Chandler stated once more as he slowly started to descend the stairs, his mind still spinning as it replayed Tex dying in his arms and him killing Allison Shaw in cold blood. " _You're not that man Commodore…"_ he recalled Tex's words. That was his moral compass…the fail safe point and when Shaw took that from him, the only way to rid himself the guilty pain was to take her out. Retaliation.

He offered a small salute in return, a haunted expression that all those of the Nathan James crew standing by to witness would inwardly shudder at. Whatever happened during those few tormented minutes on the plane…whatever verbal exchange between himself and Allison Shaw had changed him – and in the worst way possible. Defeated him. Broken him.

Chandler slumped down into the back seat of the dark SUV and kept his gaze fixed on the outside world as it slowly zoomed past on the way back to the ship. He heard Slattery's voice at his side but didn't want to comprehend what he said – words that were meant to offer hope. Hope was lost. If hope does last…today it died.

When they reached the base of the Nathan James, Slattery can only stand back in miserable silence as he watched his friend silently pull away and then disappear inside the belly of the Navy destroyer. "This isn't good," he offered as he too pulled away from the Cobra team and followed after his friend.

He had only caught up with Chandler just as he disappeared into his room but before Chandler could close and lock the door, Slattery managed to slip inside.

"Tom…what happened back there…"

"I…I don't want to talk about it right now. My children…this can't be," he whispered as he looked at a picture of himself and his father and slowly picked it up. "It wasn't supposed to happen like this. No more deaths."

"They all knew the risks," Slattery tried with an imploring tone as he remained fixed in place.

"That bitch killed him and Tex in cold blood! And who knows who else!" Chandler cursed as his anger surged and his fist tightened around the small glass frame so much so that Slattery thought it would bust and cut into a few veins. The frame held. "What risks did my children warrant!"

Slattery's shoulder's slumped as he nodded his head in defeat. "I have no words for that that'll make it better. Tex was a friend and your father…"

"My children have no one now," Chandler stated sourly as Slattery's heart sunk. "At least with them in dad's care and protection I could…could focus on what needed to be done. Taking back our country…our future. Now…it's all gone."

"No! It's not lost!" Slattery's turn to interject in haste. "It's not. We can still rebuild this. Shaw's empire is broken."

"How many other Shaw's are out there right now waiting to take over? Follow her lead? Destroy the small vestiges of peace that we are trying to build. HOW MANY!"

"I don't know," Slattery offered sadly. "I wish I did because then I'd have a reason to find them and take them out. Give peace a real fighting chance. But I don't. All I know is I have to keep going each day and hope that if I can no longer fight this war, there will be someone I trust coming behind me who will."

"They have no one now."

Slattery looked at his friend as he turned and then picked up a picture of his children and watched as Chandler's entire frame slumped. That was it. He wasn't listening to reason any longer; didn't care that there was still a battle to be won and good people to bring over to their side. He knew he could preach all he wanted about their strength and loyalty but right now it would be lost on Tom Chandler. Inside all he saw was defeat; the end. Death. Broken.

"What did Shaw say to you? Tom…"

"I need to see my children," Chandler interrupted as he turned around with tears starting to form. "Need to apologize to them. Beg their forgiveness."

"What do you need from me?" Slattery asked in a soft tone as Chandler's eyes lifted. "Just ask. We're in this together. No matter what and for how long."

Once again he could see the gaze his friend and commander held was no longer the same as it used to be. It was changed. Forever altered. Broken. Just as his soul was.

"I…I don't know," Chandler admitted softly as he shook his head. "Too many deaths. Now…it ends."

The words hung in the air with thick sadness as both men stood in place looking at the other with tormented realization. They had reached the fail safe and overshot it by…by a length that neither was sure they could come back from. Recover from. Heal from.

"It's not…over," Slattery tried once more as his brain told him that Chandler needs to see his children, even if he himself was stalling. "Go see your family."

Chandler looked up at his friend and exhaled heavily before he nodded and then slowly put down the picture frame and then turned to his friend and now captain of the Nathan James and nodded once more. "Mike…"

"Go and see them before you say something you might regret."

"It's over."

"Like…that," Slattery huffed as he rubbed his face. "Tom…"

"We'll talk later. Mike…"

Slattery heard the small clipped edge in his friend's tone and knew, whether he liked it or not, the time for him to keep convincing his friend to stay was over. He could only hope that he'd find some solace in his children still being alive but after that?

"Okay," Slattery acknowledged as he stepped back into the cool hallway of the Nathan James and slowly headed toward his own personal quarters, feeling defeated rather than elated in any way. Sure they had cut off the head of the cobra and Oliver would be reinstated as the President and hopefully try to heal and rebuild the country but the personal toll on them all…would they be able to really recover?

He looked at a picture of his own family and felt a small lump of emotion as it started to form in his throat. "Miss you so much," Slattery offered in quiet torment as his eyes then trailed over to a picture of him and Chandler. "It's not over. It can't be! Can't…be."

But even as those words left his mouth he too was uncertain of what lay ahead for them. Rebuilding? Recovery? Trying to move on…but to what? What was left of personal worth to hold on to? If all the families were destroyed how do you rebuild a solid foundation for a country with a prosperous future and hope? Where they all broken beyond repair?

He could only hope that in a few hours, his friend would have moved past his current guilt and see that he was needed as they tried to move forward.

That hope…would already be dead.

A few hours later Slattery found Chandler on the deck of the Nathan James as he stared out into the inky night as the ship remained docked in Saint Louis.

"Hey," he greeted with a small nod as he let the cool night air start to ease some of his heated tension. "How are the kids?"

"They uh…they're in shock. Ashley…she won't come out. Sam is…everything's changed now. For us all. They've changed."

Slattery heard the thick torment in Chandler's voice and looked at his friend in worry. Normally there would be a follow up, something to give him hope…some verbal nugget that he could hold onto that told him they had beat their darkest hour. That hope, that glimmer of promise was gone.

The Tom Chandler he had known for years…was gone. He was…broken.

Whatever Shaw said Slattery thought as Tom continued and he knew he had to interject… _"This isn't on you._

 _"I lectured…"_

 _"You're just as human as the rest of us," Slattery tried to reason._

 _"I hold myself to a higher standard. Shaw was right about one thing, this country has lost its moral compass. It needs someone to guide it, get it back to its core values. I can't be that person."_

 _"Tom…"_ Slattery started in a tone that was almost to the point of begging. That isn't fair! That isn't you! Don't do this! But the words didn't have time to come out. But before Mike Slattery could say another word he could only watch with helpless misery as Tom Chandler turned and walked back into belly of the Nathan James, shoulders slightly slumped and showing all the signs of a defeated man. Broken.

His heart started to ache as he realized that things would never be the same now. Allison Shaw had broken him in the worst way possible. A death could be rationalized and healed from. But to break a man's spirit…his will…his soul – was there recovery from that? Shaw died knowing that she might have won.

"Is this the end?" Slattery whispered as the cool night air started to envelop him with darkness and his mind raced for answers. None were forthcoming. At least…not right now.

 **THE END!**

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 **A/N:** *sniff* even writing it now I still get broken up! I wanted to leave it a bit open ended the show did (ugh I can't wait another year to find out!) but would love your thoughts on this and I might be able to tempt my muse into writing a bit more for our boys. So please do review before you go and thanks so much!


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